


Am I Still Human?

by FairyLights101



Series: Eruren Week 2015 [5]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Supernatural Elements, Alternate Universe - Werewolf, Angst, Eruere Week, Eruren Week, Fluff, M/M, eruere - Freeform, eruren - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-04
Updated: 2015-05-04
Packaged: 2018-03-28 23:14:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,097
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3873520
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FairyLights101/pseuds/FairyLights101
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The last thing Eren expected while jogging one night was to be attacked by a rabid animal. Everything after that... Well, any sane person would think that stuff was confined to the mythology books and supernatural shows. Apparently not.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Am I Still Human?

**Author's Note:**

> Eruere/Eruren Week Day 5: Human

Eren's feet slapped at the pavement, chewing up the distance as his body moved with ease he had acquired years ago. Cool evening air filled his lungs and cooled the sweat that ran down his body. Music blasted in his ears, a peppy tune he mouthed along with as it drowned out all but the faint slap of his feet and the steady, elevated thrum of his heart. It helped to ease the transition into the familiar blankness of running, erasing the burn that had started in his calves at least a mile ago.

The brunette carried on, his movements mindless as he traversed a well-beaten path along the sidewalk beneath a dimming sky and street lights that had flicked on two songs ago. A familiar landmark came into sight as he rounded a bend in the stone path, a small fountain near the center of the park that gurgled day and night for a good portion of the year. It was also his end point. Eren grinned and his feet finally began to slow until he came to a stop before the sleek marble basin of the fountain. He popped his earbuds out, leaving him with the sound of his heart hammering within his chest, quick breaths, and the rush of water.

With his hands on his hips Eren paced the cobblestones around the fountain, drawing in slow, steady breaths to calm his heart before he started the run back. After four revolutions he finally ceased to pace to stretch out his distantly aching limbs. Toe touches, quad stretches, arm swings, torso twists. The ache dissipated from his muscles and Eren released a soft sigh as he did a final one, pushing up to his tiptoes as his arms extended overhead until his back gave a satisfying crack.  _I'll jog quicker, get back home a little sooner. Maybe Erwin and I can watch a movie._

Eren grinned into the night as he popped his earbuds back in and twisted to the path he had come down minutes before just in time to see a dark shape dart across the path, orange lamplight catching on brownish fur. Even though there was no music playing Eren still tugged an earbud out as he glanced around, not quite breathing as he strained to make out any sounds. Emerald eyes raked his surroundings, seeking out anything to give away the thing that had darted across the path. Nothing but shadows and streetlights that poorly illuminated the way stood out. No movement.  _If it's a wild animal… Fuck, I've had rabies shots once and I'm_ not _fucking doing that again._

A growl ripped through the air, low and feral, something from the throat of a great  _beast_. Eren whipped around a second before a heavy furry body slammed into him, knocking him flat on his ass against the cool stones. Massive paws pressed into his shoulders, forcing him flat as his head jerked to the side and he tried to heave up against the weight with no success. Rank breath washed over his face, hot and filled with the stench of blood and gore.

"Fuck!" Eren lashed out, his hand smashing into a solid furred ribcage. And absolutely nothing happened. Another deep rumble carved through the air as nails bit into his shoulders and the weight increased. The weight was almost too much, enough that he couldn't breathe right beneath the massive dog. A damp muzzle pressed to his face, nudging it to the side before it pressed to his throat and sniffed. Ethereal golden eyes glowed down at him, slicing through the dark to lock with his before they carved right through him.

Eren went rigid, heart pounding and blood curdling as he stared into those eyes, those intelligent, ruthless,  _human_ -like eyes. Light caught it's face to reveal light brown fur and teeth streaked with red. Sharp canines bared as another rank gust of air washed over him.  _Oh God… I'm about to have my fucking throat ripped out. I'm gonna die. And I didn't even tell Erwin I loved him when I left._

The wolf - it had to be a wolf. It was too fucking  _huge_  to be a dog - tipped its head back to the night sky, its bloody maw parting as a haunting howl burst forth, one that filled the park with its deep melody and left Eren's head spinning. And then the howl faded away as the wolf ducked its head down. Teeth ripped into Eren's shoulder and he jerked against the bite, all the oxygen in his lungs fleeing him with a gasp that immediately morphed into a scream, taking the place of the howl for several long, agony-filled moments before he collapsed back into unconsciousness.

* * *

  _Harsh pants tore through his lungs. Massive paws slammed against the soft ground, tearing up dirt as he raced through the tiny, enclosed forest. Around trees, over rocks, through the underbrush. The reek of fear, hot and sharp and delicious as he pounded after it. Slavering jaws split apart. Blood filled his mouth. Bones crunched and splintered beneath the force of powerful teeth. Warm meat, fur, and bones slid down his throat, settled in his stomach, a meal too small to satisfy for long but enough for the time being. A bloody muzzle tipped back to the black sky and the full moon high above as a howl burst from his throat, rumbling from the very depths of his being as he sang to the sky, a wavering cry that rose and fell all on its own. A lonely call._

* * *

 Erwin crawled out of bed a little after six, unable to stay in the cool empty space any longer. He had barely slept, apparent in the grittiness of his eyes and the lethargic movements. It had been impossible to sleep without Eren, especially when he didn't know  _where Eren was_. He always went for a jog after dinner. He was always back after thirty-five to forty minutes. But he had never come back. The hours had slipped by, seven becoming eleven, eleven becoming two, two becoming six.

 _Ten more minutes and I call the police_.

He would have called sooner but they might not have taken it seriously. That and the fact that Eren had done similar things before when he stopped by Mikasa's house during his jog and ended up forgetting to text that he was in fact crashing on Mikasa's couch rather than kidnapped by the Mafia or suffering from some other horrific fate.  _Dammit, Eren…_  Erwin gripped the kitchen counter hard enough that his knuckles turned white as his head bowed over his bland cup of coffee. "Eren… where are you?" The words were whispered down to the cup of dark liquid. Erwin didn't expect an answer. He hadn't been expecting one since twelve thirty when he had been lying in bed staring at his phone and the thirteen unanswered texts he had sent.

A thump brought his head snapping up to stare at the back door, a proverbial answer to his quiet question, before he darted over and jerked it open, heart in his throat. His gaze found a familiar head of tousled brown hair, dirt and debris tangled in the wild locks. He was bare, all of his clothes gone, exposing his lithe, filthy body stained by dirt and smears of some dark red-black substance. "Eren?" His head slowly tipped back to reveal dazed green eyes and a mouth stained with the same red stuff, though the stuff around of his mouth glistened in the early morning light.  _Blood_.

"... Eren?" Erwin caught his boyfriend's shoulders, then cupped his cheeks as he did his best to avoid the still-damp blood.

The young man flinched beneath his touch and pulled back, eyes narrowing, lips curling back, and teeth baring as a snarl rolled through his throat. Eren swayed even as he lurched in toward Erwin against his hands, teeth snapping with painfully loud clicks. They snapped once, twice, three times before those blank eyes rolled back and he collapsed into Erwin's chest. The blonde barely managed to catch Eren before he hit the stone surface of the porch. Erwin knelt there, Eren's limp body cradled in his arms and pulled close into his chest.

The scent of blood and earth and animals clung to every single centimeter of his body. A tentative hand rose to brush the nape of Eren's neck. The young man didn't stir, his face still slack. His fingers drifted further down until they slipped over unfamiliar dips in Eren's skin, things he hadn't felt there before. Erwin pulled back, brow somehow managing to furrow a little more as he stared hard at Eren's neck. At the bite marks that married his neck and shoulder, the place that had been devoid of marks or scars when he had been kissing and sucking and nipping there before dinner. "Eren… what happened?"

The young man's head lolled back with a muted groan. Dazed green orbs fluttered open and rolled around for a moment before they landed on Erwin. Bloody lips curled back into a tired smile. "Erwin… Hey… why're you lookin' so scared?"

Erwin gaped at his boyfriend for several long moments before he could find his voice. "Eren… you were gone all night and you're covered in blood."

The bleary smile didn't fade even as Eren glanced down at his bare body. "Oh… So I am…" A quiet giggle bubbled out of Eren as he slumped against Erwin once more, the delirious laughter dying away. Heavy fingers came up to his back to curl into his shirt, clutching tight. "You smell nice… Night night, Erwin." Eren's breathing deepened and slowed almost immediately.

Erwin stared at the dirt- and blood-stained skin of Eren's back, mouth wide open. His legs were going numb and it was more than a little chilly outside but all he could do was sit and gape blankly and the young man. "Eren… what happened to you?"

* * *

 The groans and ache of his stomach woke Eren, heaving him from sleep with a quiet whimper. He curled in on himself, hugged his arms to his stomach in a pathetic attempt to quell the organ. "Fuck…"

It was a desperate gnawing, one that sucked the air right out of him. he'd never been so hungry, so frantic to have something fill him. Eren rolled to the side and threw the covers off his too-hot body, feet smacking the floor. Some distant part of his brain dimly registered that he was in their house, that he wasn't still at the park in the middle of the night, but it didn't matter. Blind with emptiness and weariness, Eren stumbled through the quiet house, one hand pressed to the wall to keep himself upright, feet uncooperative and faltering. The journey to the kitchen was impossibly long and he nearly sobbed in relief when he reached it, knees shaking and body weaving. He went straight for the refrigerator and jerked the door open, cool air washing over him as he stared into it, examining the contents.

Nothing.

Absolutely  _nothing_  looked appetizing in the slightest. His shoulders shook as his stomach gave another vicious groan, one that rumbled through his entire body. Somehow he knew none of it would help. None of his protein shakes or the meat or cheese or -  _meat_. His gaze darted back to a tray of beef that sat on one of the shelves. Hell, it was probably their dinner for later.  _I don't care_.

He sank to the floor, styrofoam tray in hand, before he ripped into it. The cool, slimy meat settled in his hands as the sweet scent filled his head. It was absolutely dizzying, almost as good as the taste when he tore into it, teeth working frantically to make quick work of the meat. Fluid ran down his arms and dripped from his chin but he didn't bother to pause and wipe it away. Instead he brought another hunk to his mouth, jaws parted to rip a piece away when he froze.

Eyes. There were eyes on him, raising the hairs on the back of his neck. His head jerked up and found the source of the stare. A large blonde man gaped at him, his mouth hanging open and eyes wide, his expression foreign to him just as his face was. "Eren…" A snarl rolled through his throat as he clutched his food closer before he ripped another chunk off, one eye glued to the man. Only this time his mouth before it finally stopped mid-chew. Something about that face, that voice, was familiar. Something he couldn't quite put a finger on. "Eren?"

Erwin. The blonde's name was  _Erwin_. And he was Eren. Eren Yeager. Son of Carla and Grisha.  _What am I doing?_

His gaze slowly returned to his hands. A sizeable lump of raw beef was cradled in his palms, a delicious red-color that matched the blood that stained his hands, arms, face, neck, and clothes. It was heavy and sticky on his skin. The skin that didn't feel  _right_ , like he was wearing a suit that didn't quite fit. Emerald eyes flicked up to Erwin as his lips quivered, an all-too familiar burn in his eyes. "Erwin…? I... "

The blonde hesitated for a moment before he crept over and knelt beside Eren. A tentative hand touched his knee and Erwin leaned a little closer. And then a tiny smile crept across his face. "Eren. It's  _you_ , Eren." He didn't go in for a hug or a kiss - Eren didn't blame him either, not when he was covered in gore - but he did squeeze Eren's knee as his smile expanded a little more.

Eren glanced back at the meat in his palms as he sucked in a shuddering breath. "Erwin… how did I get home? I was… I was in the park and something… a dog or a wolf, I don't know, just came up and bit me. Here." His hand drifted up to his neck to the spot where sharp, powerful teeth had sunk into his flesh to tear it away. Everything after that was blank. Gone in a haze of darkness.

Erwin shook his head, tired eyes focused solely on Eren. "I don't know. I found you on the porch this morning. You were… You were covered in blood and dirt."

"I… Erwin…" Eren's head tipped up to Erwin, his eyes wide and bottom lip trembling. His heart wasn't beating quite right, breaths weren't coming in normally, his skin itched, too small yet too big for his body. And there was the insane, animalistic urge to raise the raw meat to his face and tear into it, to let the blood drip down his chin and lick it away like the beast he was. "Erwin… What's wrong with me?"

* * *

 Erwin was still awake when Eren suddenly sat up in bed. Blue eyes flicked up in the darkness of their room, Eren's shape outlined by moonlight streaming in through the window. His face was slack, eyes open and blank.

It was hard to hold still, to keep his breathing steady and not call or reach out. Thankfully, he managed to stay still, gaze trained on Eren as he waited. For several long minutes he sat there staring blankly at the wall, unmoving.

Eren's head turned and his legs swung out from beneath the covers. Feet hit the floor with soft thump, one that wouldn't have woken Erwin had he been asleep. The blonde watched as Eren drifted over toward the window, feet dragging at the floor and head tipped to the side. Hands rose to the windows and gently tugged the panes open, allowing the cool night air to come in. Eren's head tipped back to the sky, expression hidden with the angle. Erwin sat up, brow furrowed as he watched Eren. His mouth opened, ready to call out, when Eren doubled over.

His hands wrapped around his abdomen with a gasp. Shudders worked through his body, limbs jerked, and spasms worked through his slender frame. Erwin was out of the bed and by Eren in a heartbeat, hands settling onto his shoulders. "Eren! Eren, what's wrong?"

His head twitched and jerked to the side before it snapped up. Vein-like lines carved through the skin beneath his eyes. Ones that were no longer emerald but golden, bright and molten with constricted pupils. " _Get back_ ," Eren snarled and planted a hand on Erwin's chest. He fell back at the sudden shove and scrambled up a second later.

Eren hit his knees as his back arched forward while his head tipped back, face contorted. His body rippled and jerked, seemingly uncontrollable twitches that forced his body this way and that. And something was  _changing_. Erwin blinked but nothing was different, Eren was still  _shifting_. Face elongating, hair lengthening and spreading, limbs changing shape. His jaw fell as Eren dropped onto his hands and knees, clothes tearing as his body began to rapidly expand, dark brown hair spreading across his body. The clothes fell away and the wolf -  _Eren_  - shook himself, jaws stretching and snapping, tail lashing the air. A long muzzle tipped back. Jaws parted, revealing sharp white teeth. A howl split through the air, a long, undulating cry that filled the room, resounded through Erwin's skull.

The blonde couldn't move, every part of him frozen in place, even when the howl cut off. The wolf's head dipped down and turned. Golden orbs settled on Erwin, bright, inquisitive, feral,  _human_. "E… Eren?"

Hackles rose as a soft growl rumbled through the depths of its throat. A heavy foot came forward as the growl deepened, teeth bared. It…  _Eren_ … he had a gleam in his eyes, a tension to his body.  _He's going to attack. Going to kill me_. "Eren… Eren, it's me. Erwin. Eren, remember me? Your boyfriend?" Somehow his voice managed to stay steady. He had no clue how he was in control of himself but he stayed together.  _Does he even know what's going on?_  "Eren, please,  _remember_." His head tipped to the side, eyes narrowed as the growl dropped away. Erwin managed a smile and straightened up a little. He could only hope that his posture wasn't threatening in any way. "Eren…"

The wolf lunged forward.

Erwin dove to the side, rolling to his side as the wolf slammed into the wall. A whimper broke through the air as he stumbled back, pawing at his face. Erwin hung back, muscles tensed to lurch out of the way again. "Eren… Eren, remember me. Remember your humanity. Whatever happened, this isn't you. Don't let it control you. Don't become a monster." The wolf's head rose, golden eyes flared wide open. Its jaws parted once more.

And then his body started to spasm again. It was quicker this time, his body collapsing back into itself, hair receding into his body. It only took a moment for Eren to be left on the floor, bare and shivering. Summer green orbs flicked up to Erwin, terror all-too visible in their depths. "Erwin… Erwin… Oh God, Erwin…" Eren staggered to his feet and lurched toward the window. His leg hooked over the windowsill, hands planted on the edge.

Erwin caught Eren around the waist and hauled him back in. They fell together onto the floor, Eren hugged tight to his chest. "Eren… Eren, don't run away."

"Erwin, I tried to fucking  _kill you_. I… I… I'm  _dangerous_." His small body shuddered against Erwin even as he struggled to escape, twisting and fighting without hitting. "Erwin… Erwin, I'm not fucking  _human_  any more. Let me  _go_!"

"No!" Erwin gripped Eren harder, so tight that he could barely move against the constraints that were Erwin's limbs. "Eren… Eren, you might be different, but you are still  _human_. I looked into those eyes and I didn't see an animal. Not for long anyway. No, I saw a  _human_. Someone who wanted to live, to reclaim what they had lost instead of letting some beast instincts take over."

Eren had fallen still at some point, his body frozen until his shoulders jerked. "I…" A soft sniff cut through the silence. His shoulders rocked again, hands clenching against Erwin's thighs. "That's not true… I… You're lucky I didn't  _kill you_. I… I don't feel right. My skin… it doesn't fit.  _I want to change_. I want to change into something that isn't  _human_. Lemme go. Lemme go so I don't  _hurt_  you. Please! Please Erwin,  _please_!" Hot tears splashed down onto Erwin's hands, slow at first before something broke and they started rushing down, unable to be seen but all too apparent of a feeling on his skin.  _Eren…_

"You're wrong. From the moment you looked at me, I knew it was  _you_  in there. Nothing and noone else. I knew you wouldn't hurt me, otherwise I would have run. I trust you. I trust your  _humanity._  Eren, please,  _believe me_. Have faith in me. You're human. You're human and you're safe. For me, for yourself, for your friends. Fuck, leaving would make you dangerous, make you lose yourself."

Eren sniffed and slumped back into him. His chin was tucked into his chest, hands loosely curled atop Erwin's leg. "... Why? Why are you so sure I'm safe? That I'm not a  _monster_? I fucking turned into a wolf!"

Erwin sighed and leaned forward to bury his face in the crook of Eren's neck. He smelled like soap and shampoo and something new - something  _wild_. A scent that wouldn't have been out of place outside in the woods. "Because… because I love you. Because I know you. Eren Yeager - you are not a monster. Not even… not even like this. You aren't a monster because you could never kill a human unless you are protecting someone, and even then I doubt that sincerely. No, you are human. Human because you chose to cling to your humanity instead of giving in. By coming to your senses rather than attacking me again."

A hiccup rocked Eren, then another. They didn't move or speak for several moments. Eren was the first, twisting in Erwin's tight grasp until they could see each other, features just visible in the moonlight. "Erwin… I'm so sorry."

"Don't be."

"Too bad."

"Make it up to me by  _staying_."

The younger man tensed, his grip on Erwin's shirt tightening. "I…"

"Eren… I trust you. So believe in yourself - in your  _humanity_."

No response came for several long minutes before Eren tipped his head up, eyes unreadable in the dark. But the miniscule smile that tugged at his lips was beautifully visible. "Okay…"

Erwin offered a smile of his own. Gentle hands rose up to cup Eren's cheeks, thumbs sweeping across the fine bones beneath his eyes. "I guess this means I need to stock up on raw meat."

If Eren blushed, he would never know, but he did receive a gentle punch to the arm for his words. "That… that would be nice. I really want some…"

"I figured."

"Erwin… I need to run."

"Alright." He pressed a kiss to Eren's forehead, then to his lips as Eren let out another growl, though it sounded playful, if a bit…  _feral_. They pulled apart with lingering touches that lasted all the way through the house until Eren's bare feet settled in the grass. The lithe man glanced back and grinned, his teeth perhaps a little sharper, his eyes a little brighter.

"I'll be back in the morning!"

And then he was gone into the darkness of the forest. It didn't take long for a howl to slice through the clear, tranquil night air, a long and wavering cry that was completely different from the first one Erwin had heard. This one was more…  _human._

"Oh my God… I'm dating a  _werewolf_ … Time to hit the mythology books."

* * *

  _Massive paws slapped the forest floor. Energy flowed easily through his muscles, powering every stride across the leaf-littered ground and every leap over fallen logs or rocks. The air was sharp and clear, filled with thousands of scents that caught only a scrap of his attention, all melding together into something that was one and yet completely separate at the same time. Warm living scents permeated the air and mixed with cooler ones that didn't quite have the same life. Probably because they didn't have blood pumping through them. A wolfy grin tugged at his lips as his speed increased. He was in control. He knew this time._

I am a wolf.

I am human.

I am Eren Yeager.


End file.
